Feb 11

Feb 11 3 Tricks I've Learned From My Goal Setting Challenges

Hello beautiful wellness seekers, I'm Liz Moser, and I'm a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach.

In last week’s blog, I explored my thoughts on first base goals (small achievable daily actions) vs. home run goals (those challenging to sustain for the long-term activities) and how first base goals are what it takes to build long-term lifestyle changes.

Yes, last week’s blog was about baseball and how it relates to wellness coaching and goal setting. I also promised to look at my previous 4 ½ years of nightly checklist and show you how I've been using first base goals this entire time and how even though I might increase the time or intensity of a habit it still feels like a first base goal.

As I found out when I went through my checklists that was a bit of revisionist history, or a glorified interpretation. If not completely incorrect! LOL!

I used meditation as an example in last week's vlog, and yes, that is a perfect example of small incremental increases in difficulty as I needed to readjust for my new concept of a first base goal. As it got more accessible, I upped the intensity incrementally. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

But there were other habits where I was all over the map, putting them on, and taking them off the list. Just taking shots in the dark and missing them entirely on most days.

However, first things first, a quick history of my meditation habit:

Meditation has been on my checklist since day 1: October 30, 2017

At first, I wrote in how many minutes I meditated. So, I wasn't even committing to a specific amount, but it was either ten or nothing. (Not very wellness ‘coachy’ of me. Right?! Because now I counsel my clients to do at least 1 minute instead of skipping. But I wasn't a coach back then!)

Then three months later, on February 5, 2018, I changed to meditating 1st thing in the morning. I noticed that I prefer meditation in the morning, and if I didn't meditate 1st thing, it may or may not have happened.

When meditating first thing became a habit, it faded off my list. But meditation remained.

Then on January 1, 2020, I jumped to 2 twenty minutes sessions.

Two things to note: I meditated for 10 minutes a day from October 30, 2017, to December 31, 2020. Small things changed from no specific time committed to 1st thing in the morning, explicitly committing to 10 minutes. That's all, just three small incremental shifts in habit intensity in slightly over three years. That's textbook first base 'goaling' if that's not a word, it should be!

By the time I bumped it to two twenty-minute sessions. A- I had the time because was in a no TV phase and, B – I was way more than ready after two years for the jump in time. Also, I have always wanted to be a twice-daily meditator. Now I am.

On the other hand, the habit that was not a first base goal more of a home run goal, my wake-at-5 am, and, if I'm honest, the entire creation of my morning routine. It was fits and starts, trial and error, and you can tell it was me doing my best without much goal-setting skills or any coaching support. Why I was so gentle with the meditation piece and less so with my morning wake time is a puzzle to me.

5 am was on my checklist on November 6, 2017, or my second week of checklists. Mind you, I had quit sugar, flour, and alcohol in mid-September, and here I was, adding meditation and busy reinventing my morning routine as well. I would have counseled a much gentler, slower approach if I were my coach back then. Oh, well. I learned through trial and error.

On November 6th, 5am appeared on my nightly checklist, and I only woke up one day that week at 5 am. 6 days I slept in. When you miss an action 6 out of the 7 days, it’s not a first base goal, and you need to reassess. These checklists aren't for wishes. They are for your essential habits you feel very confident you can accomplish.

The following week I missed 5 am five times.

And the week after, November 27, I edited my checklist to 5:30 am, instead of 5 am. I only missed waking at 5:30 am one time. Hmm, was I getting closer to a first base goal wake-up time?

No! Because the week of December 25, I slept in 6 times!

Then I took any waking time off my nightly checklist for two weeks. These checklists are not meant to be tools of self-flagellation. As a coach, looking back I support that decision.

Until June 11, 2018, my wake time swung from not on my list to 5 am and 5:30 am, and I slept in 1 to 4 times each week. Not great stats!

I finally got tired of that song and dance and created a 10-week calendar challenge commencing June 11, 2018. For 70 days or ten weeks, I didn't miss a day, which cemented my habit. Done and dusted.

This vlog was supposed to be a trip down memory lane where I showed my perfect checklists and the first base achievable goals I'd had on my list for four plus years.

YES, for meditation's sake and some other habits and a NO for my morning wake time and several others.

If I had been my client, I would have counseled several options for this situation of wanting something but consistently not achieving it, like my 5 am wake time.

Option 1: Commit to no specific wake time. Instead, write down what time you wake and record your morning efficiency and how stressed you felt in the morning and throughout the day. So, keep notes about how the day goes, and your morning routine for each particular wake time. You'll find out that 6 am works tremendously, or maybe it is 5 am and nothing else will do. Collect info. Make a more informed decision down the road.

Option 2: Pick a doable, easy time. 6 am? 6:30? 7:00 am? I'm not sure what that would have been. Pick it and commit to it for a month or three until it feels easy and wake slowly earlier and earlier. Inching back in authentic first baseball goal fashion.

Option 3: Do what I ultimately did. Create a calendar challenge. When you know without a doubt that you want to add an action to your daily routine and you’re missing the mark periodically, commit to a 10-week calendar challenging. It focuses you. There’s nothing like crossing off day after day. Calendar challenges work for me every time.

There you go, three different approaches: record and observe, start incredibly easy and inch up the intensity and a calendar challenge when you are convinced an action or habit is what you want to commit 100% to.

It also doesn't surprise me that while some habits on my list were picture-perfect first base like goals, many others, like my 5am goal, were just as lofty and challenging as some of my new client's goals. It's hard for us humans to be patient and build slowly despite what the goal-setting research stipulates. And I wasn’t born a wellness coach. That came later! 😉

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and thank you for reading this blog about 4.5 years of nightly checklists first base goals and home run goals. If you have any questions about this blog, health, wellness, or wellness coaching with me, please reach out via my website at lizmosercoaching.com.