Sep 22

Sep 22 The Importance of Community

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach.

In my blog My Happiness Hack, I explored Sonja Lyubomirsky’s positive psychology research on what makes us happy and fulfilled. No surprise, healthy, loving relationships with people are key. The people in our lives are essential: families, life partners, fellow worshippers, friends, work colleagues, and neighbors. All the people in our lives are vital for our happiness and a sense of fulfillment.

In this blog, I want to go a step further and look at the people in our lives through the lens of community. While I'm describing the groups and communities, I'm affiliated with. I invite you to pull out a piece of paper and list your communities as well. As you jot down the groups you're affiliated with, I invite you to keep in mind these three questions:

What are the group’s goals?

What do I offer the group, and what do I receive from the group?

How does being a member of this group align with my values, goals and purpose?

Yoga. My online yoga classes start 15 minutes early for a community check-in. One member moved to Seattle, and she still gets to show up for class. When I was in Oregon visiting my family, I zoomed in, and sometimes we meet in our teacher’s back yard for class, weather permitting. We talk about books, what we're celebrating or what we’re struggling with. It's a group of like-minded seekers who are into yoga, breathwork, meditation, and taking our next steps in life with as much joy as we can muster.

Art class: If I'm talking about the communities I'm a part of, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my stone carving class at the Minnetonka Center for the Arts. Please check out my video from last week where I discuss this class in-depth and the health benefits of creating art. Suffice it to say, Dan and I have been carving with the same people for two years with a break due to Covid. It’s about learning a new skill while laughing and focusing on something other than whatever challenge I’m working through.

Toastmasters: Toastmasters is not a great name for this longstanding international organization. It has nothing to do with standing up and giving a toast with a glass of scotch in your hand like you’re a character in a Mad Men episode. No, it's about developing leadership skills, communicating effectively, honing your listening skills, and most valuable of all, learning how to give positive and effective feedback. My toastmaster's group meets at a local wellness center, and we laugh and enjoy ourselves as we support each other in learning how to become more effective communicators.

Book group: Over a year ago, I asked several women to join a non-fiction book group. We read a new book every month and then discuss it. These are the books that I want to read, I have every intention to read, but wouldn’t necessarily reach for on my own because they aren’t particularly fun or relaxing. Then each month, we meet on Facebook video and have a short conversation about the book to share our thoughts and takeaways.

Meditation Center: Last week, I started a 6-week meditation course offered live and via zoom by Common Grounds Meditation Center in MPLS. Their motto is: practicing together in the footsteps of the Buddha. I've been on their email list for over a year and finally decided to jump into this meditation course. They also offer retreats, other classes, and in-person meditation sessions. There are no specific fees in the Buddhist tradition, so you can volunteer your time or pay what you can. This could be a fantastic community for me to be a part of. I'm in the exploratory phase, but I hope they’re a good fit for me.

While I described some of my communities: yoga, art class, toastmasters, book club, and meditation center, what communities did you list? Did you list a volunteer organization, church, synagogue, or another religious group, a condo association, workout class, or a parent-teacher group?

Now I invite you to examine your involvement with those groups and ask yourself the three questions I posed earlier. Those questions are:

What are the group’s goals?

What do I offer the group, and what do I receive from the group?

How does being a member of this group align with my values and purpose?

I’ll use my book group as an example:

What are the group’s goals? To read and discuss those books that we know we'll learn and grow from but might be a challenging read, and we wouldn't necessarily reach for them without the group support.

What do I offer the group, and what do I receive from the group? I offer my insights about the book we’re reading, and I get to hear three other intelligent women weigh in with their thoughts. I learn new perspectives.

How does being a member of this group align with my values and purpose? I like to hang with intelligent lifelong learners because I value challenging myself to grow as a person.

A key to a fulfilling life is the people in our lives, and you and your people form groups and communities. I invite you to explore how your community’s goals, values, and purpose align with your own and how your participation in the group is valuable to you, meaning what do you give them and what do you receive in kind.

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and thank you for reading this blog about the importance of community. If you have any questions about this blog, health, wellness, or wellness coaching with me, please reach out via my website at lizmosercoaching.com.