May 13

May 13 3 Strategies to Win the “Should I or Shouldn’t I” Struggle

Liz Moser

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach

Can you relate to the “should I or shouldn’t I” struggle?

It may happen when:

Your alarm goes off early so you can meditate and go to the gym, but a part of you wants to sleep in.

Or, you’re at the store eying the sugar-filled items, even though you’re committed to a healthier food plan.

How do you win the “should I or shouldn’t I” battle and stick to your wellness goals and highest good? Well, I suggest using one of these three strategies that work for me and my clients:

Strategy #1: Sometimes my clients struggle with a ‘what if’ situation, such as how could they ever go to a wedding and not eat the cake or drink champagne when choosing a lifestyle without sugar or go to Italy and not eat pasta when they are choosing to abstain from flour.

For these “what if” scenarios, I suggest reminding yourself that as of now, you’re not invited to a wedding nor have a trip to Italy planned, so why worry about a non-event. Take care of today.

That may seem simplistic. Yet, there is a line between planning for upcoming events so they go off without a hitch and worrying about a possible future that may or may not happen. Meanwhile, we have our current day to navigate successfully.

And, by the way, I’ve happily attended weddings without consuming champagne or cake, and maybe that trip to Italy will be a hiking or biking adventure where you’ll be too focused on the scenery to miss out on a particular food.

OK, so maybe you do have an event or trip coming up, or it's simply the early morning alarm so you can get to the gym, and the first strategy won’t work. Now what. Then the next question comes in handy:

Strategy #2: Ask yourself, "How will I feel afterward if I stick with my initial plan, and how will I feel if I don't?" Ask yourself how you will feel if the "should I" wins and then if the “shouldn’t I” wins.

Sink into how both outcomes will feel and choose your course of action from your future self perspective. This is my quick and easy go-to motivator.

Similar to strategy #2, strategy #3 is: “Which action will make you happier?” Or if you don’t resonate with ‘happier,' use any of these words: 'fulfilled,' 'proud,' ‘closer to your goals, ' or ‘aligned with your goals.’ Simply put, which course of action increases your happiness, overall life satisfaction and brings you closer to your overall big picture goal and which action leaves you depleted and farther from your goals?

Any of these strategies assume you are aware enough to stop and think before you choose a course of action. Some of my clients are in such an unconscious state that they say things like, “The food was just in my mouth!” Or, “I had no thoughts before my action. It just happened.”

That’s where meditation, breathwork, or yoga comes in. Any daily practice that gets you to slow down, be present and refocus on your body, mind, and spirit. It can be hard enough to choose your right action when you are present and, in your body, however, almost impossible if you are moving blindly through your day.

The steps in making any long-standing lifestyle changes are:

First, you need to have a strong desire to change.

Then you need daily practices that allow you to be present with yourself, your thoughts, and actions. My clients that arrive in coaching with regular meditation, breathwork, yoga, prayer, or any grounding practice are way ahead of the game.

Lastly, when, not if but when thoughts arise that try and move you away from your desired outcome, or that elicit the “should I or shouldn’t I” back and forth debate, try these three questions spoken internally or even externally standing in front of a mirror:

1 - Why worry about that now if you have no plans to be in that situation. Kick that problem down the road!

2 - How will you feel afterward if you sleep in, skip the workout, or buy the sugary crap you’re not choosing to eat? And how will you feel afterward if you wake up, work out, or eat your clean food? How will you feel if the ‘should I' wins, and how will you feel if the ‘shouldn’t I’ wins?

And lastly,

3 – Which course of action will make you feel happier, more fulfilled, or what will bring you closer to your overall goals?

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and thank you for reading this blog about three strategies for winning the “should I or shouldn’t I” battle. If you have any questions about this blog, about health and wellness, or wellness coaching with me, please reach out via my website at lizmosercoaching.com