Mar 16

Mar 16 Kinder in 10 Weeks

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, and I'm a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness coach.

Here I am, ten weeks after starting my Namaste Challenge of no caffeine, no TV, and increasing my meditation to 2, 20-minute sessions per day.

My goal was to deepen my spirituality, my connection to my highest self, to create time and ease in my life, and hopefully become a more centered, intentional person.

All of that happened; however, surprisingly, according to a friend, I'm now a kinder person.

Hmm, I'm kinder today than I was a mere ten weeks ago. Nice!

Ten weeks ago, I was nervous, even fearful:
How could I possibly study for a test, let alone take an exam without caffeine? What would my fiancé and I do every night without TV? Would this bring us closer or increase tension? Forty minutes of meditation each day? That’s daunting!

I was worried about my relationship, feeling boredom, caffeine withdrawals, and lack of productivity without my favorite stimulant.

At the 4-week mark:
I was encouraged that I was rocking this challenge! I was over my caffeine withdrawals, Dan and I were eating dinner together at the dining room table, talking, listening to music, and putting puzzles together. I was studying every day. I felt great! Yay me!

How can someone be that excited about being so calm and centered? Hmm! Oh well, that’s kind of how I roll. I’m not only a cheerleader for my clients and the people in my life, but I suppose, I cheer myself on as well.

Ten weeks later:
Here I am at the end. At the 10-week mark. I haven’t missed a day or a habit. It was much easier than I thought it would be. Mainly because I was blessed to experience the benefits of increased calm, ease, and contentment of this triad of habits early on, which encouraged me to continue.

So, what am I going to do going forward?

Meditation:
I meditated twice a day for 20 minutes. Several days I went to a local meditation and yoga center, and my second meditation was a Yoga Nidra practice in their salt cave. I'd never meditated with other people, nor had I experienced the calming, healing effects of a salt environment. The experience is so rejuvenating, even luxurious. I am going to continue with the Yoga Nidra, for sure.

I purchased a meditation bench and a cushion from meditationbench.com. I'm thrilled with my purchase, and I would highly recommend this company and their products.

There have been no downsides and only increased calm and peace, while feeling more in tune with my intuition, from expanding my meditation practice. I have every intention of continuing this habit.

Twice daily 20-minute meditation sessions are remaining on my nightly checklist.

Caffeine:
Despite my fears, I was able to study and ultimately take a 4-hour certification exam without caffeine in my system. Of course, what was I thinking? I somehow made it through grammar school, middle school, and high school without caffeine! Why should now be any different? Ha!

I am calmer more focused have more sustained energy throughout the day, and most surprising, I need slightly less sleep. I was a strict 8 hours a night person now 7 ½ is enough. Not a huge deal but interesting.

What I once thought of as an integral part of my productivity decreases my focus, alertness, and awake time. That's what the studies show, but to experience it firsthand is a different story.

I own a coffee shop. I love the smell of coffee. I love green tea and matcha. You could say I loved all methods of caffeine delivery equally. Lol! Yet letting go of the smell of coffee first thing in the morning is something I’m grieving to a certain extent. I've replaced my morning coffee with hot water and a ¼ lemon squeezed in a clear 20oz glass. It looks, feels, and smells heavenly. Still, I get a pang of yearning for my morning coffee from time to time, but that will pass in time.

Decaf coffee is also a no-no for me. It still has some caffeine in it, and in the past, it’s been the ‘gateway drug’ for regularly caffeinated coffee and teas.

My goal is an intentional, peaceful, and centered life where I'm in touch with my true self, highest self, insert whatever woo-woo term works for you. Stimulants like caffeine move me away from that calm center. They work against me, not with me. Coffee and caffeine take away more than they add to my life. No caffeine is staying on my nightly checklist.

No Television:
Ten weeks ago I stopped watching TV, and my fiancé and I are closer because of it. I love eating dinner at the table, talking and listening to music, and puzzling. We don’t do that every night. Sometimes after eating together, Dan watches tv, and I read my book. Still, most nights, we continue to listen to music and puzzle until I wander off to start my nightly bedtime routine of meditation, reading, and journaling.

I don't want to give this up. Not watching TV adds value to my life. And in preparation for writing this, I read copious articles about the effects of TV on the brain. It’s not pretty! The passivity of TV viewing is harmful to the brain. On the other hand, reading, listening to a book or puzzling requires the mind to envision scenes and characters and make connections. These are downtime activities that strengthen our brains.

Also, for me, TV creates a to-do list of sorts, another need, because I must catch up with my latest shows. I need to know what happened to my favorite characters after last week’s cliff hanger. TV creates fake urgency, so to speak, and of course, it takes so much time!

In its place Dan and I put together 15, 500-piece puzzles (they’re smaller so that we can puzzle and eat at the dining room table), I read 15 books, I listened to 3 Audible books, and I started a 70,000 steps per week challenge.

Oh, I’ve also increased the yoga classes I attend per week, plus I added the delicious practice of twice-weekly Yoga Nidra in the healing salt cave, and of course, I increased my meditation practice at home.

All that said, and with cautious trepidation, I've added a line to my nightly checklist that says TV and then a space to fill in what I watched and how much time I spent. My goal is no more than one night per week, of a moderate amount of tv. Most likely, a movie.

I have an addictive personality in general, TV was another of my addictions (for sure!), and I’m asking myself to moderate my TV viewing. In most areas of my life, I'm not a moderator.

So, if my meditation slips or if my TV habit creeps up from 1 night to 2 or 3 nights while Dan and I are no longer having our sweet nightly ‘dates’ at the dining room table, I'll simply cut TV-out. Period! End of story! I’ll keep you posted. Ha!

In Sum:
I asked my mastermind group about the changes they noticed in me over the last ten weeks without TV and caffeine while increasing my meditation. Some of what they said I expected, “You’re calmer, more centered, peaceful, and content.” However, I also heard the unexpected,

“Liz, you’re less rigid, less controlling, and kinder.”

Hmm, I'm kinder than I was ten weeks ago. How nice is that!?

Kindness is a beautiful quality to possess, but I was surprised, even perplexed when she said that because I certainly didn't start this challenge hoping to become a less rigid, kinder human being.

However, after taking a more in-depth look, it started to make sense.

A meditation practice slows you down, increases your time spent looking inward, and without the stimulation of caffeine, and TV, my meditation was that much richer, more profound.

You could say that the practice of looking inward is an act of self-compassion, even kindness.

Meditation is a way to say to yourself: “Hey, I want to get to know you better. I want to hear what you have to say. You and your thoughts matter to me.”

In that sense, I spent the last ten weeks showing myself kindness, and in turn, according to my mastermind group, I’m now a kinder person.

We've heard the adage you can’t love others until you love yourself. In that vein, I don’t think we can give others what we don’t offer ourselves.

The best way to express love for someone is not with gifts or material objects but with time and attention. Over these last ten weeks, I spent 40 minutes a day with myself meditating, merely checking in, and listening.

Ok, I’d like to invite you, support you, even challenge you to quit caffeine, and tv, while increasing your meditation. The last ten weeks have been transformative in so many areas of my life.

But, even if you don’t want to jump off the deep end as I did!

Then, what smaller steps can you take that will increase your calm centeredness that will enhance the time you spend with yourself? How can you show yourself that you truly matter to you? Is it decreasing your caffeine and screen time? Is it more time in nature, time with a loved one or beloved pet, exercising or meditating?

We believe what we see ourselves do.

Don’t merely shrug and say, “Yeah sure, of course, I love myself. I have self-compassion,” convey it by slowing down, showing up, and listening to all you have to say. You’ll be surprised by what this act of kindness will open-up for you.

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach, and thanks for watching this video and if you have any questions about this video, or if you have any questions about health and wellness or wellness coaching with me, please contact me through my website at lizmosercoaching.com