Jan 27

Jan 27 NO! (Thank you)

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, and I’m a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach.

Today, I want to explore the value of NO and how it empowers us to create a life with space in it for our Yes’s.

First a story:

About 7 years ago, I was at a party and met the newly hired head of cardiology for the hospital, where I was soon scheduled to have a catheter ablation procedure to correct my atrial fibrillation.

I’d previously consulted with 3 doctors, did my research, and chose my Dr and this specific hospital with care.

The newly hired head of cardiology told me that his hospital had better health care statistics than the highly revered, world-renowned Hospital X (for obvious reasons, I'm changing the name) because Hospital X routinely turns away cases they decide they can’t treat effectively.

They pad their statistics.

Or,

They say NO when the odds of winning aren’t in their favor.

OK, I'm not here to debate the ethics of this, or whether or not health care in this country should or shouldn't be for-profit, however, I'll admit that at the time, I thought this was a dubious practice, and I was reaffirmed in the choice I’d made in both a Dr. and a hospital. (Oh, and by the way, my procedure went off without a hitch, and my heart is still beating regularly.)

Now, 7 years later, I can relate to Hospital X. I also say NO regularly when the odds aren’t in my favor. I also pad my statistics, so to speak.

What do I mean, exactly?

I think most of my friends and family would say that I’m one of the most disciplined people they know.

Self-discipline is a defining aspect of my identity, and I take special care of it because that wasn’t always the case.

I have more than 2 years of completed nightly checklists. I take care to discern what habits or actions will and won’t be on them. At least once per month, usually twice per month, I add and subtract items as needed.

I keep my Goals and Values in mind during this discernment process.

When I specifically want to incorporate a new habit, I create a calendar challenge as I did in the new year with my Namaste Challenge.

I took weeks to ponder over that. I didn’t just on a whim decide, “Oh, what would it be like to quit caffeine and tv and increase my meditation?”

I don’t take my challenges lightly because I take my identity as a disciplined person very seriously and disciplined people keep their word to others and, more importantly, to themselves.

I commit when I’m 98% sure I can achieve it, and I'm 100% sure it aligns with my goals and values.

Does that mean I don’t dally and dither along other paths? NO, it doesn’t, I’m only human!

For instance, I spent several weeks vacillating about should I or shouldn't I take a yoga teacher training course until a close friend supported me to narrow my focus and realize that now isn’t the best time.

I have a test to study for, and vacillating about the training course was, in hindsight, a form of procrastination.

The ability or skill I have of saying NO when:

I don’t have the bandwidth for something, it’s not my priority (it doesn’t support one of my goals) or it’s simply not a resounding HECK YES, is one of the secrets to my success.

It’s how I’ve completed multiple calendar challenges and subsequently added many healthy habits to my life.

The result is I get to say, “Wow, look at those completed nighty checklists, look at those successful calendar challenges. Hmm, I must be self-disciplined. Cool!”

That’s how identities work: First, the actions or the evidence and then your psyche catches up, and we make a conclusion about ourselves.

By my daily, weekly, monthly actions, I’ve created this precious thing, my identity, and I don’t take my commitments to myself or others lightly. I want to do what I say because that’s, what disciplined people do.

Every time I keep my word and reach my goals, both small and large, that win or success slingshots me to the next challenge and the next success and so on.

2 years ago, my first successfully completed 10-week calendar challenge was to sit in meditation first thing in the morning. I didn’t stipulate where or length of time, just the when. Now I'm completing and reaping the multiple benefits of sitting in meditation twice per day for 20 minutes.

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach. Please embrace your NO's and be so very careful with parsing out your YES’S because there is a part of you watching and waiting to see if you will succeed. Don’t let that part down and then watch as a tiny ember of strength inside of you slowly grows into an unstoppable fire.

Thanks for reading this blog and if you have any questions about this blog, or if you have any questions about health and wellness or wellness coaching with me, please contact me through my website at lizmosercoaching.com