Yeah, but…

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach.  

Most of my clients are looking to embrace a lifestyle without sugar, flour, and processed foods.  Like me, they are choosing to let go of them instead of attempting a life of moderation.  There is a mental and physical detox period for most of these clients, and it can be challenging.

The tendency I have noticed with these, let's call them processed food abstainers, are they tend to get an unprecedented number of clean days under their belt.  Perhaps we're talking, and it's their 8th day eating this clean new diet.  And I’m thinking, “Wow! It’s been a week! 7 clean days! Woo hoo! SO exciting!” I’m thrilled for them. 

Their stretch of clean days is a coaching moment for us to explore what they are doing now, other than the additional accountability and support from our coaching, encouraging this new lifestyle.  What’s making a difference.  It’s a moment of reflection, empowerment, and, most importantly, a time of celebration! 

However, almost without fail as I’m getting enthusiastic for them as I’m praising them, they will interrupt me with something like, “Sure, it’s great but…” or, “Yeah, I hear you, but….”

And the but is: 

But I’m not meditating, using my nightly checklist, gratitude journal, or other habits I've talked about on my videos.    

But I’m overeating meat, dairy, liquid fats, or they have some other nutritional concern.

But I’m not doing my yoga, and my office is a mess. I haven't completed some course I've started, or some other goal or action. 

And the fourth but is…

I’m watching too much TV. I'm buying too many little doodads on Amazon, or I can't put down the murder mystery I’m reading or some other self-soothing habit.

I then attempt to kindly interrupt their self-criticism with, “Whoa, please, please stop! NO! No, you do not get to brush right past this pretty big occasion and start kicking yourself over some perceived ‘should.’”

As far as the habits I discuss in my blogs and videos: 5-year journal, gratitude journal, meditation, etc., I tell my clients to let them go.  Build up some automaticity with your new food habits, and then we will slowly add new habits from there. 

Secondly, “But I’m eating too much meat, dairy, liquid fats or other nutritional concern.” They have a nutritional concern in addition to releasing the flour sugar.  Again, I say one step at a time.  Let go of the junk food and look at meat, dairy, and any other nutritional ideal later.   

Thirdly, But I’m not doing my yoga; my office is a mess. I haven't completed some courses I've started or some other wanted action or habit.  

Got it! However, as James Clear, author of  Atomic Habits, writes: one new habit at a time, start small and build slowly.  Give yourself a break, and take the win of your recent clean day streak instead of some self-perceived loss of I’m not completing x,y, or z. 

And

Lastly, I’m watching too much tv, I’m buying too many doodads on Amazon, or I can't put down my murder mystery novel, or some other self-soothing habit. OK, I got it; some self-soothing has crept in while you’re detoxing from the junk food.

If it’s not too much of a time suck or financial burden, and the kids are still wearing clean clothes and not going hungry 😉, then keep an eye on it, be curious, and let it go for now.  Show yourself some grace and allow a few self-soothing habits to fill the junk food void.  No harm, no foul.  This newbie phase won’t last forever.  Just be sweet to yourself. 

In the meantime, make keeping your new junk food-free lifestyle as easy for yourself as possible.  It’s your only job in the beginning.  It doesn’t matter if you aren’t meditating, or if you're binge-watching Below Deck or eating more meat, dairy, or other food you ultimately hope to eliminate.  Just get some clean days under your belt, let automaticity with this new way of eating kick in, and with the support of your coach, me, we will slowly add or subtract whatever habits you want.  It will happen. Be patient. 

Please keep your new lifestyle simple in the beginning and be kind and forgiving to yourself. 

So, in sum, celebrate each clean day.  Don’t “yeah, but” yourself.  Try to remember how out of reach 3,7 or 14   days without flour, sugar, or junk food felt to you not that long ago and attempt to high five yourself from that perspective.  And be kind to yourself if some self-soothing activities slip in or if you aren’t eating your ideal healthy picture or if you aren’t meditating. 

If you start complicating matters with, "I need to do this or not do that."  You could be thwarting yourself into the permission-giving thought (read last week’s blog!) of "I’m not doing everything I want to do right now, so why even try!"  and then eat off your committed plan.    

What if you made your new clean eating lifestyle as easy for yourself as you possibly could? 

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and thank you for watching this “Yeah, But...” video. If you have any questions about health and wellness, about this video, or wellness coaching with me, please reach out via my website at lizmosercoaching.com    

Be well and see you next week,

Liz