Sep 15

Sep 15 Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?

Hi, I'm Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and do you remember that somewhat cheesy, albeit adorable, Public Service Ad from the '70s and early '80s asking parents, “Have you hugged your kid today?”

Well, my Dad would often quote that ad when he got home from work, and then he would hug me wearing a big goofy grin on his face. Even at 6, I thought this was a bit dorky, but, you know, of course, I loved it! He’s my dad!

Anyway, this week let me ask you, have you hugged your kid today? And for the actual parents out there, I’m not referring to your real children; I’m referring to the cute little boy or girl version of you we all have inside of us.

So, let me ask you again, have you hugged your kid today?

Or comforted her, reassured her, or praised her?

Or, did you include her in your life maybe while you meditated, walked, played an instrument, painted, or went on errands?

Did you, in any way, cultivate a relationship with your inner child today?

And why am I asking? Why is this important?

I’m asking because a relationship with our little selves is essential for several reasons. When we create an ongoing relationship with our adorable little vulnerable selves, we develop a powerful support tool and a little ally.

OK, what do I mean by a powerful support tool? I mean, a relationship with the kid in you is a powerful tool that allows you to visualize comforting and nurturing yourself when you are feeling stressed, sad, angry, or anxious.

Yes, close your eyes, imagine you are holding little-you on your lap, maybe rocking, hugging, or singing to her. And feel the calm wash over you. That’s a beautiful, supportive way to self soothe when we feel under attack from negative thoughts and emotions. And, sometimes it feels like an attack, doesn’t it?!

And what do I mean by little ally? When you develop a relationship with your inner kid, you establish a vital partner where your kid is your guide or compass pointing in the right direction towards fun, joy, creativity, resourcefulness, open-mindedness, and open-heartedness resiliency.

All the qualities of children are at your fingertips when you cultivate a relationship with your little kid. That’s when they become your ally!

As we explore life without our numbing and distracting agents of choice (such as binge-watching TV, cigarettes, junk food, and alcohol), if we develop a relationship with the kids in us, that little recourse is there for you. When you think, I'm bored, sad, anxious, or down, and don't want to reach for the remote control, cigarettes, the potato chips, or a glass of wine, but what could I do instead?

Or, maybe the better question is, what do I need instead?

Sometimes a little self-soothing is in order, and it’s time to visualize a big hug or actually hug yourself. I do that all the time, and I make my clients do that too! Ha! Other times it’s about asking our little kid, our compass, our little guide to fun creativity and open-hearted living; what are my alternatives?

And trust me, ask a flesh and blood 6-year-old would you rather play with a room full of puppies, go to the amusement park, read books with me or eat a bunch of junk and watch TV. Well, the 6-year-old is going to pick the puppies, the thrilling activity, or the real connection with a loved one over the other choice. At least most of the time!

My point is, Kids are joyful, creative, resourceful, open-minded, open-hearted, and resilient all necessary skills we need to navigate a life moving towards our health and wellness goals and our highest purpose.

We started as nonjudgmental, problem-solvers because we didn't have internal shoulds and musts at that age. Those were placed in us by grown-ups as we grew older.

OK, in sum, your internal kid, your little you, is both powerful support for self-soothing, and your little ally that will guide you straight to your joy, creativity, resourcefulness, and resiliency.

I’m Liz Moser, a Mayo Clinic and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and thank you for reading my weekly blog. If you have questions about this video or Health and Wellness or Wellness coaching, please contact me through my website at lizmosercoaching.com